another failure.

Then she started playing victim. Said I was the one who's drift apart, etc.
Her mom called me and explained everything.
and I realized that she found someone else. (guess she's engaged with him now)

I don't think it's fair, but then what could I do.
We were just that close to be together.
But it's too late.

LDR still fails me.
:)

Greetings my trash!

Been so long haven't write any of this. Many special occasion that i've been through which i didn't put all my trash in here.

So, probably I'm gonna start to put more trash here, since I've done so many trash-able things.

So see you.

Jujur memang dari saya tidak ada yang bisa dibanggakan.. Jadi Apa kalian yakin dengan keputusan kalian?
Bani Arsyad yang sudah terkenal akan kehormatannya mempunyai seorang keturunan yang tengil, ugal-ugalan, tidak jelas masa depannya yang akan dipinangkan dengan kerabat sendiri yang sudah mapan? Lebih baik saya pergi.

I guess.. Well actually I don't know, but my feeling tells me that I'm no longer in your inner circle anymore..  :(

She

She, the only one. She decided to have her life goes on without me. She was the only one who can change my mind to think about the future, our future. The one that change my life, change my haircut, the one that finally left me.

I kept pretending that it didn’t happen. I thought she just was not in her mood, or she might be on her period. We’d been through this several times and I believed that we were good, we could deal with that. But suddenly after she paid a visit to her family, she thinks differently. Every single thing that we’d been through, she just wept and left it like it didn’t exist anymore.

Last day in Lebanon before my flight I called her, just for a goodbye and information that I was no longer in Lebanon anymore. She seemed okay, had a great time, tough, and yes, she’s already MOVE ON. I was so happy I could hear her voice, live, not recorded. I wish I could call her every morning, just saying have a good day in the beginning of her day, or at least every night before I or she fell asleep. I miss every single thing about her.

I know I am selfish and talk from my point of view. But seriously, I can’t stop thinking about her, about us and how can us be like before we used to. I want us so bad. No matter what I’ll keep praying for us. It’s not like I don’t want to face the truth and reality, but I believe that it’s just a matter of time. Someday, we’ll be together again.

I met her this night in my dream,  and she was okay without me. Is it really the sign? I hope it isn't.

I know, it's hard. But till now, still I can't move on.

You got hurt, heartbroken, then, ugh Idk, I just can't let you go

It's too late cha, there's no turning back.
All those memories, I can do nothing about them.
Gonna be stuck with them in my life.

All the dark side of me are coming out again. Lose for hope